Black Friday deal of the century: NBA lockout over

Various media outlets are reporting that the NBA and the Players Association have reached a tentative deal ending the lockout. It appears there won't be coal in the stockings of NBA fans this year, as the agreement has the season slated to start on Christmas day.

The news comes as a great relief to players, owners, and fans alike, with the exception of Kris Humphries who will undoubtedly be subjected to heckling over his failed marriage that broke down quicker than Monta Ellis splitting a double team, and Cleveland Cavalier fans who will have to endure an awful basketball team on top of a harsh Ohio winter.

The VickRib is back, get it while supplies last!

The news out of Philadelphia keeps getting worse as Michael Vick's availability for Sunday's key divisional matchup versus the Giants remains uncertain. Head coach Andy Reid, who looks to have thrown back a few gazillion McRibs in his day informed the media Vick suffered two broken ribs on the second play from scrimmage in last week's surprising loss to the lowly Arizona Cardinals. Vick himself didn't use the injury as an excuse, no athlete would, but the possibility remains that Reid used the injury as an explanation for Vick's errant throws throughout last week's game. Of course benching one of Vick's most explosive weapons in Desean Jackson for missing a team meeting didn't help matters, but dishing out discipline is easier when you're at home and projected to crush your opponent (oops).

Vick's decision to play through the pain played out like a failed version of Tony Romo's Week 2 heroics versus the San Francisco 49ers, in which the Texas gunslinger rallied his team to a 4th quarter comeback and subsequent overtime win. Unfortunately for Vick the location of the injury is pretty much where the similarities end, as the Cowboys appear to be playoff bound while the Eagles have better odds of finding actual beef in a Mickey D's cheeseburger than making any noise this season. It's hard to fault Vick's decision as it was a real catch-22 situation. If the Eagles had won this would be a non issue, as it stands they lost and at least you can say Vick is gritty, but sitting out would have been another matter. We all saw how well it worked for Jay Cutler last year in the playoffs. Funny how winning erases the bad taste in peoples' mouths, like guzzling a coke after plowing through a 20 piece McNugget meal. So where do you stand on Vick's decision to stay in the game?

Source: ESPN

The Kardashian Effect

By now you've probably heard that Kim Kardashian and NBA star role player Kris Humphries have filed for divorce. The sudden news stunned and saddened millions of zero Americans around the country, and has spawned conjecture and criticism from the media that Kim was in it solely for the money as she earned $18 million for the rights to broadcast her wedding. As easy as it is to kick someone while they're down, we should instead focus on Kim's positive contributions to society in something Fox Sports has termed The Kardashian Effect:   

The free-agent forward [Humphries] had the best statistical season of his NBA career during the time he dated Kardashian, posting career highs in points per game (10), rebounds per game (10.4), assists per game (1.1), blocks per game (1.1), field goal percentage (.527) and minutes per game (27.9).

Kim K's mysterious rejuvenating qualities don't end at Humphries either, as NFL players Reggie Bush and Miles Austin also reaped the benefits:

Bush, who dated Kardashian on-and-off from 2007 through 2010, won a Super Bowl with the New Orleans Saints while with her.

And then there's Cowboys' receiver Miles Austin, whose two week roll in the hay with Kim K. yielded a substantial payout:

At the tail end of their relationship Austin signed a six-year, $54 million contract extension with the Cowboys.

In addition to the big payday, Austin caught 20 passes for 288 yards and a touchdown during the two regular season games that coincided with their relationship.

In the spirit of all the positive mojo gained from the Kardashian Effect, THMG presents 4 athletes/sports personalities that need to date Kim Kardashian:

Albert Haynesworth

This ex-pat's short stint on the waiver wire is more a sign of things to come than an aberration. Al and Kim have more in common than you think, both are petulant and have a wide base, but I'd give Kim the edge when it comes to stopping the run (i.e. tackling Reggie Bush).

David Stern

Facing the prospect of no pro basketball till after Christmas, the best way to expedite the negotiations would be to argue less about BRI and instead welcome a little KIM into the equation.

Fresno Pacific University guard Lenny Young

After being dismissed from the basketball team for a violation of team standards, Young went on a bender that Y! Sports  described as a "naked rampage." 3 taser strikes, 1 bite from a police dog, and 1 failed carjacking attempt on a police cruiser later, the stark naked player was finally subdued. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and no one has parlayed being naked into fame quite like Kim Kardashian.

Peyton Manning / the Indianapolis Colts

This one's a no brainer, Manning needs the vertebrae in his neck to fuse, and Kim often appears confused, it's a match made in heaven.

Source Fox sports via friend of THMG, RajBaj

Jumbo Joe has a jumbo mouth

San Jose Sharks captain Joe Thornton drew criticism for recent comments he made toward the New York Rangers following Monday's 2-5 loss at MSG. Although the Sharks came up short during the game, Thornton unleashed some offense in his post game remarks.

"They were probably the softest team we played on the trip," Thornton said. "We should have had these two points."

Thornton went on to express his desire to dip the Rangers in chocolate or perhaps dress them up with some rainbow sprinkles.

Not to be outdone, the New York Rangers fired back, albeit from an unlikely source. If you're Joe Thornton you know you've given a team some prime-time bulletin board material when their coach tells you to STFU on national television.

  

video courtesy of Versus via Hockeywebcast

Perhaps Thornton's comments were meant to motivate the Sharks (it wouldn't be the first time a team leader has used the media to call out his team), or perhaps the comments were more introspective, as the Sharks and even Thornton himself have been criticized for soft play or for being a finesse team in prior years. Whatever the case may be, expect fireworks the next time these two teams square off.

Occupy New York (Jets)

Y! Sports is reporting that 3-time Pro Bowl signal caller Mark Brunell is currently mired in $50 million worth of debt due to a string of bad investments. The news does not shock Ken Ruettgers, former player and current head of gamesover.org, a group dedicated to helping former players transition into everyday life upon leaving the game.

"It's something like 78 percent of former NFL players, two years after their last game, are either bankrupt, divorced, or unemployed," Ruettgers told WAWS-TV in Jacksonville.

At this time it is unknown when Brunell, the former Jaguars star and current Jets backup, will join the tent city on Wall Street, but given the inconsistent nature of the Jets offense a good guess would be by the end of the regular season on January 1st.

Brunell himself could not be reached for comment, but looked inexplicably excited and happy despite his predicament. One can only speculate that his font-like handwriting or love of giant sheets of binder paper are helping ease the pain of financial ruin.