hmg definition

High Motor Guy

noun \ˈhī-mō-tər-gī \ 1. an athlete (usually a football player, usually a D-lineman or LBacker, usually not very good) lacking natural ability, but who gives 110% effort 110% of the time on 110% of sports clichés 2. a fresh and exciting sports blog.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Make 'em say UGG (na-na-nana): Tom Brady & The Patriots rocking some furry footwear

As kickoff approaches for Super Bowl XLVI (that's forty-six, I googled it) many questions that experts and pundits have asked all week will finally be answered. Is the Pats O-line man enough to slow down the vaunted Giants pass rush? Will the Giants' suspect secondary be able to contain the likes of Welker, Hernandez, and a gimpy Gronk? How many talking babies will we see today? Will this year be the year that seeing Danica Patrick in a bikini convinces me that I need a domain name?

However, there is one lingering question that may never be answered, why you so hipster Tom Brady?

It turns out the Super Bowl winning, Brazilian super model wedding, GQ cover modelling QB is also the pitchman for UGG boots. Not only that, but the generous, Beiber-coiffed QB also gave his entire team a pair as a Super Bowl gift. Now I would have been the first person to repack those bad boys, and re-gift them, but not so for Patriots' reserve linebacker Markell Carter:

In one season in New England, the linebacker out of Central Arkansas has not yet dressed for an NFL game.

That did not stop him from looking fly Tuesday.
Carter opted with a pair of gray UGGs for the event. Teammate and UGGs spokesman Tom Brady made Carter's color choice a harder decision than one would imagine.

"I like the black ones, but I feel like the gray ones match a little better," Carter said. "They feel a little better. I love these. Tom's probably given us four or five, maybe six pairs of UGGs this season."

          Source: Y! Sports

Perhaps I'm not secure enough in my masculinity to rock UGGs, or maybe it's because this joke of a Bay Area winter would be tolerable for even the skinniest and most hairless nudist, but the idea of UGGs is not appealing. Then again, when you are 6'4" and 252 lbs you can pretty much wear whatever you want without anybody giving you flack (except me, anonymously via the interenet, puwhahaha).

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Cooking with KG: the Celtics' Kevin Garnett sounds off on team chemistry

History has shown that a lockout shortened season produces inferior quality basketball. Shorter training camps, lack of a pre season, less time between games, and more injuries are all factors that detract from the game, as the Celtics' Kevin Garnett addressed through use of a stomach churning metaphor:

"Timing is everything. Chemistry is something that you don't just throw in the frying pan and mix it up with another something, then throw it on top of something, then fry it up and put it in a tortilla and put in a microwave, heat it up and give it to you and expect it to taste good. You know? For those of you who can cook, y'all know what I'm talking about. If y'all can't cook, this doesn't concern you."
Garnett is a perennial first team all defensive player, future first ballot a hall of famer, and mufti-millionaire, but from the sound of it either KG spends some of those millions employing a personal chef or dinner at his house is really interesting. Maybe while he's at it, Garnett can find a recipe for a 0-3 Celtics team still starving for its first victory.

                                                      video courtesy of

Thursday, December 1, 2011

These boots are made for walking

Forget UGGs, the clear fashion trend this winter is the walking boot popularized by countless NFL players fashionistas hobbled by various leg and foot injuries. In the Bay Area alone, Raiders players Darren McFadden, Jacoby Ford, and Denarius Moore, as well as the Niners' Michael Crabtree have all sported the boot at some point during the season.

Perhaps I'm out of touch with the wonders of modern sports medicine, but I feel like the term walking boot wasn't even en vogue in the NFL until recently. Gone are the days of athletic tape, so you better sell your stock in ACE bandage because in today's NFL it seems like any player that suffers an injury ends up in a walking boot in hopes of a speedier recovery. The things are so wildly popular, they have even become collectibles and memorabilia (see inset).
Michael Crabtree's walking boot w/ 49er team autographs
In fact, the emergence of the walking boot may have coincided with the ever popular sports injury known as the "high ankle sprain." I rolled my ankle plenty of times playing basketball, never was I aware that my ankle could travel up my leg. This also begs the question, if you have cankles can you get a high ankle sprain? Are NFL linemen immune to such injuries? With the number of star caliber players sporting this specialty footwear over the years, from Brady to Roethlisberger to Adrian Peterson, you'd think those boots were made from molded plastic cooled by water from the fountain of youth.

However, the use of the boot is not without some controversy, as a 2009 article from Medical News Today points out:

"Thus we recommend the use of a 10-day below knee cast for the management of severe ankle sprains, or alternatively, an Aircast brace. Neither tubular compression bandage nor the Bledsoe boot are recommended."

The findings suggest that the walking boot, or Bledsoe boot as it's called in the study, may not be the best choice, and I'm inclined to agree if not for the simple fact that the boot shares its namesake with Drew Bledsoe, a quarterback who forever lost his starting job to Tom Brady after getting injured. If that's not bad juju, then I don't know what is.

If you ask me, science needs to take things a step further and create a full body boot to help players recover more quickly. Nintendo has already presented the prototype with its popular Super Mario Bros. franchise.
Mario's status for Week 13 is questionable

Or maybe, instead of having players wear a walking boot, have them drink from Das Boot. Sure the ligaments and tendons won't mend faster, but at least the tremendous amounts of beer will have an analgesic effect for the pain, and you know midweek press conferences will be A LOT more entertaining.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Black Friday deal of the century: NBA lockout over

Various media outlets are reporting that the NBA and the Players Association have reached a tentative deal ending the lockout. It appears there won't be coal in the stockings of NBA fans this year, as the agreement has the season slated to start on Christmas day.

The news comes as a great relief to players, owners, and fans alike, with the exception of Kris Humphries who will undoubtedly be subjected to heckling over his failed marriage that broke down quicker than Monta Ellis splitting a double team, and Cleveland Cavalier fans who will have to endure an awful basketball team on top of a harsh Ohio winter.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The VickRib is back, get it while supplies last!

The news out of Philadelphia keeps getting worse as Michael Vick's availability for Sunday's key divisional matchup versus the Giants remains uncertain. Head coach Andy Reid, who looks to have thrown back a few gazillion McRibs in his day informed the media Vick suffered two broken ribs on the second play from scrimmage in last week's surprising loss to the lowly Arizona Cardinals. Vick himself didn't use the injury as an excuse, no athlete would, but the possibility remains that Reid used the injury as an explanation for Vick's errant throws throughout last week's game. Of course benching one of Vick's most explosive weapons in Desean Jackson for missing a team meeting didn't help matters, but dishing out discipline is easier when you're at home and projected to crush your opponent (oops).

Vick's decision to play through the pain played out like a failed version of Tony Romo's Week 2 heroics versus the San Francisco 49ers, in which the Texas gunslinger rallied his team to a 4th quarter comeback and subsequent overtime win. Unfortunately for Vick the location of the injury is pretty much where the similarities end, as the Cowboys appear to be playoff bound while the Eagles have better odds of finding actual beef in a Mickey D's cheeseburger than making any noise this season. It's hard to fault Vick's decision as it was a real catch-22 situation. If the Eagles had won this would be a non issue, as it stands they lost and at least you can say Vick is gritty, but sitting out would have been another matter. We all saw how well it worked for Jay Cutler last year in the playoffs. Funny how winning erases the bad taste in peoples' mouths, like guzzling a coke after plowing through a 20 piece McNugget meal. So where do you stand on Vick's decision to stay in the game?

Source: ESPN

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Kardashian Effect

By now you've probably heard that Kim Kardashian and NBA star role player Kris Humphries have filed for divorce. The sudden news stunned and saddened millions of zero Americans around the country, and has spawned conjecture and criticism from the media that Kim was in it solely for the money as she earned $18 million for the rights to broadcast her wedding. As easy as it is to kick someone while they're down, we should instead focus on Kim's positive contributions to society in something Fox Sports has termed The Kardashian Effect:   

The free-agent forward [Humphries] had the best statistical season of his NBA career during the time he dated Kardashian, posting career highs in points per game (10), rebounds per game (10.4), assists per game (1.1), blocks per game (1.1), field goal percentage (.527) and minutes per game (27.9).

Kim K's mysterious rejuvenating qualities don't end at Humphries either, as NFL players Reggie Bush and Miles Austin also reaped the benefits:

Bush, who dated Kardashian on-and-off from 2007 through 2010, won a Super Bowl with the New Orleans Saints while with her.

And then there's Cowboys' receiver Miles Austin, whose two week roll in the hay with Kim K. yielded a substantial payout:

At the tail end of their relationship Austin signed a six-year, $54 million contract extension with the Cowboys.
In addition to the big payday, Austin caught 20 passes for 288 yards and a touchdown during the two regular season games that coincided with their relationship.
In the spirit of all the positive mojo gained from the Kardashian Effect, THMG presents 4 athletes/sports personalities that need to date Kim Kardashian:

Albert Haynesworth

This ex-pat's short stint on the waiver wire is more a sign of things to come than an aberration. Al and Kim have more in common than you think, both are petulant and have a wide base, but I'd give Kim the edge when it comes to stopping the run (i.e. tackling Reggie Bush).

David Stern

Facing the prospect of no pro basketball till after Christmas, the best way to expedite the negotiations would be to argue less about BRI and instead welcome a little KIM into the equation.

Fresno Pacific University guard Lenny Young

After being dismissed from the basketball team for a violation of team standards, Young went on a bender that Y! Sports  described as a "naked rampage." 3 taser strikes, 1 bite from a police dog, and 1 failed carjacking attempt on a police cruiser later, the stark naked player was finally subdued. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and no one has parlayed being naked into fame quite like Kim Kardashian.

Peyton Manning / the Indianapolis Colts

This one's a no brainer, Manning needs the vertebrae in his neck to fuse, and Kim often appears confused, it's a match made in heaven.

Source Fox sports via friend of THMG, RajBaj

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Jumbo Joe has a jumbo mouth

San Jose Sharks captain Joe Thornton drew criticism for recent comments he made toward the New York Rangers following Monday's 2-5 loss at MSG. Although the Sharks came up short during the game, Thornton unleashed some offense in his post game remarks.

"They were probably the softest team we played on the trip," Thornton said. "We should have had these two points."

Thornton went on to express his desire to dip the Rangers in chocolate or perhaps dress them up with some rainbow sprinkles.

Not to be outdone, the New York Rangers fired back, albeit from an unlikely source. If you're Joe Thornton you know you've given a team some prime-time bulletin board material when their coach tells you to STFU on national television.

video courtesy of Versus via Hockeywebcast

Perhaps Thornton's comments were meant to motivate the Sharks (it wouldn't be the first time a team leader has used the media to call out his team), or perhaps the comments were more introspective, as the Sharks and even Thornton himself have been criticized for soft play or for being a finesse team in prior years. Whatever the case may be, expect fireworks the next time these two teams square off.