Occupy New York (Jets)

Y! Sports is reporting that 3-time Pro Bowl signal caller Mark Brunell is currently mired in $50 million worth of debt due to a string of bad investments. The news does not shock Ken Ruettgers, former player and current head of gamesover.org, a group dedicated to helping former players transition into everyday life upon leaving the game.

"It's something like 78 percent of former NFL players, two years after their last game, are either bankrupt, divorced, or unemployed," Ruettgers told WAWS-TV in Jacksonville.

At this time it is unknown when Brunell, the former Jaguars star and current Jets backup, will join the tent city on Wall Street, but given the inconsistent nature of the Jets offense a good guess would be by the end of the regular season on January 1st.

Brunell himself could not be reached for comment, but looked inexplicably excited and happy despite his predicament. One can only speculate that his font-like handwriting or love of giant sheets of binder paper are helping ease the pain of financial ruin.

Lamar Odom wins Halloween

I can say with 99.9% certainty that by the time tonight is over, Lamar Odom will have consumed more candy than your sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and cousins combined. All this time I thought Odom disappeared in the 4th quarter of games because he was soft and disinterested, when actually it's just a sugar crash. What do you think is worth more, Lamar and Khloe's prenup or his dental bill?

video courtesy of ESPN

Man vs. Food to Al Harrington: Don't quit your day job

Loyal fans, team employees, and now Al Harrington's heart and arteries are just a few entries on the growing list of casualties claimed by the NBA lockout. Last weekend the Nuggets forward attempted and subsequently failed the Bugsy Challenge at the Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas. Harrington, who averaged 10.5 PPG and 4.6 RPG for Denver last season, was obviously looking to boost his career LDL numbers by devouring this humongous hunk of hamburger heaven.

From Haute Living via Balls Don't Lie:

a burger with six one-third-pound burger patties, six types of cheese (American, cheddar, pepper jack, fresh house-made mozzarella, Swiss and panko-crusted deep-fried provolone), chorizo, sautéed mushrooms, black and tan onion rings, three strips of applewood smoked bacon, three strips of cayenne peppered bacon and a fried egg, all oozing with Burger Joint's special pink peppercorn aioli. This massive burger is accompanied by a cast iron skillet packed with two whole potatoes cut in wedges and deep fried, then smothered in cheddar cheese sauce, three-cheese blend, crumbled bacon, sliced green onions and topped with two strips of cayenne peppered bacon.

Although an isolated event, Harrington's weekend of gluttony sheds light on the fact that during a lockout players are largely left to their own devices in the absence of a training camp or structured off season workouts. The injury-laden, inferior basketball played during the lockout shortened season of '98-'99 is a prime example of what may amount to a lost '11-'12 season for a league that started to regain some national traction over the past few years.

Harrington's epic fail is somewhat surprising since it's no secret the man's got a big mouth as evidenced by the amount of trash he talks during a game. Although the Nuggets forward could not finish the massive burger in the allotted 45 minutes, Harrington can proudly declare that he's better than Lebron James (at hamburger eating), because had Lebron attempted a similar feat, he would have undoubtedly choked during the last 5 minutes.

T.O.'s open workout well attended by chirping crickets and tumbleweeds

Free agent wideout Terrell Owens, fresh off a six month stint of rehab for a torn ACL, held an open workout today for the press and NFL scouts in hopes of landing a new contract with a team. Unfortunately for T.O., his workout, which was promoted by the NFL Network and Owens' agent Drew Rosenhaus, generated the same amount of interest as when I'm at the gym doing dumbbell curls near the pilates class (minus their laughing or my subsequent sobbing).

The showcase was held at Calabasas High School, but the 37 year old veteran may have been better served staging his audition on the croquette lawn at the local senior center as Owens lacked any semblance of the burst necessary to create separation on his routes.

Undaunted by the fact that none of the 32 NFL teams sent reps to the training session, Owens remained confident in stating, "I have faith I'll land on my feet."

I'm all for the guy looking at the situation with the glass half full, but in this case it appears that the glass isn't even on the table any longer. It's a fairly telling sign when your VH1 reality show garners more interest than your ability to catch a football, and the sooner Owens sees the writing on the wall, the sooner he can transition into a cushy commentator gig. With his flash and charisma, Owens would be a natural fit alongside the likes of Keyshawn Johnson or Deion Sanders.
 
Information from the Associated Press was used in this report

Raiders to Palmer: Mastery of Krebs Cycle required for Sunday start

Raiders offensive coordinator Al Saunders shocked the sports world yesterday morning during an interview on 610 Sports Radio Kansas City when he stated newly acquired quarterback Carson Palmer would start Sunday's contest against the Chiefs "as long as he's breathing."

Palmer, eager to impress his new teammates and Bay Area fan-base, took his coordinator's words to heart and began studying the nuances of cellular respiration from a biology textbook he once saw some Asian students carrying around the USC campus.

When asked how his assimilation to a new team and playbook were going, Palmer responded, "I've got a pretty firm grasp on where the ball needs to go when coach calls Slant Left 787 check swing, check right, but I can't seem to remember that the decarboxylation of oxalosuccinate is the rate limiting step of the Krebs Cycle."

With each passing day it's becoming clear that Palmer will get the start Sunday as he continues to take first team reps and breathe at a very efficient rate, generating an impressive 36 ATP along the way.

In other Raiders' news, the Kyle Boller era in Oakland has ended before it ever got started, and former starter Jason Campbell has begun rehabbing a broken heart clavicle.

Will Smith becomes part owner of the 76ers, poised to sign Uncle Phil

ESPN is reporting today that the Philadelphia 76ers have been sold to a new ownership group in which actor turned rapper turned actor turned rapper turned actor Will Smith has a minority stake. The announcement makes Smith the latest in a list of musicians to hold partial ownership of NBA franchises, with artists such as Usher (Cavaliers) and Jay-Z (Nets) having crossed over in the past. 

Following the press conference, Smith wasted no time excersing his 0.000001% control over the team by announcing his intent to beef up the team's front-line by signing Philip Banks to a 10-day contract pending the end of the NBA lockout.

"Uncle Phil gives us another weapon on the pick and roll, ha-ha, Big Willie style," Smith added while flashing a goofy smile.

Although it is unclear if Uncle Phil's signing will do much to bolster the team's interior defense or rebounding, his demonstrative screaming and gruff parenting style will undoubtedly charm Sixers fans and viewers alike.

Niners tame Lions as Harbaugh and Schwartz engage in Mortal Kombat

The San Francisco 49ers (5-1) notched yet another come from behind road win on Sunday, and in the process dealt the Detroit Lions (5-1) their first loss of the season with a 25-19 victory at a raucous Ford Field. Alex Smith put the Niners ahead for good with just 1:51 remaining in the 4th quarter when he hooked up with Delanie Walker for a 6 yard score on a dramatic 4th and Goal situation. Smith's TD to Walker capped an impressive stretch going back to the second quarter where the Niners rallied from down 0-10 to outscore the Lions 25-9 in the final 3 frames.

The most impressive part of the win is the way that the 49ers dominated the Lions in the trenches, playing a smash mouth style of football personified by their fiery coach Jim Harbaugh. Make no mistake about it, this is not the "physical with an F," run into a wall repeatedly and punt style that was the trademark of the Mike Singletary era. This is a smart kind of dominance, physical toughness tempered by cerebral calculation.

You hear talk across the Bay from Raider's coach Hue Jackson about wanting to create a bully in Oakland, well Harbaugh's Niners are also a bully, but they're a bully that will beat you up just to steal and finish your algebra homework because it's fun. The Niners aren't physical with an F, hell they aren't even physical with a PH, the Niners are physical with a PhD.

Of course it's easy to play smash mouth football when you believe your coach is willing to literally smash the opposing coach in the mouth, as was evidenced in the post game "handshake" between Harbaugh and Lions' coach Jim Schwartz. Harbaugh's post game mea culpa claimed exuberance leading up to a firm handshake, while Schwartz claimed he felt dissed and ignored. Deliberate or not, you can judge for yourself after watching the video below. Anyone familiar with Jim Harbaugh's track record knows he's a passionate guy, but he's also shrewd as they come, and loves his guys to play with an edge harboring an "us against the world" mentality. So after the fines, sound bytes, and pomp and circumstance, what remains is a Niners team sitting atop the NFC West at 5-1, and a Niners coach that just stole Jim Schwartz's homework.

video courtesy of Sports Grid